DOCTRINE I see the horizon roiling and twisting in the sunset's blood-red and violet pain. I see your silhouette from my perch on the hill. You stand on another hill, seething with mental colors equal to the maddening blushes on the edge of the world, directly behind you. I see a sea, full of turtles. You ride the largest, leading all the other, weaker turtles. Parading them through salt and breeze towards red sands and green trees. I look into the sun. I ignore the almost threat-like warnings given me all my life: "Thou shalt not look directly into the sun, even whilst applying the glass tube to thine eye." I smile and see the sun's lines and cracks bleed through, an earthy-brown or charcoal-black color, from the other side of the ivory-bright golden glow. My spirit wells up in me. I fall. I go blind, for my sin was more than the sin of sungazing; it was the sin of disobedience. Lord Nobodaddy chastises me with a grayness, falling at first like a great, enormous flock, no, host, of soft-feathered screech owls, their plumage talcum gray; then covering my eyes with a mad nothing, stiller and blanker than Azathoth ITself. My eyes scab over and eventually heal of the infliction earlier laid on me. I never lose faith in the LORD of all creation, whether IT be nobodaddy, yhwh, shekinah, aemeth, agla, etc. I always pray not to God but to THE GOD, of whom I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The metal of the day is tin. Tin of ZeusPater(JuPiter/DYAUSPITAR>> Tin of THE LORD GOD I KNOW NOTHING OF. I do not even know if IT is the one I should pray to... My FAITH truly IS BLIND. And that is beautiful. The metal of tomorrow is lead. lead of THOSE LE(a)D BY THE OPPOSER OF WHOM I KEN NO IDEA. IT (the opposer) could be yhwh, zeus, aemeth, or, even (9od h3lp u5) satan. I know not even if there EXISTS such an oPPOSER. MY FAITH IS BLIND AND DEAF. and that is something beauty-full. Jes(yasu, sheshu, yauses, jesus)ess was a man. Was He? Was sHE a woMAN? This I doubt on PHYSical EviDence alone. My faith Is BLIND deaf and Dumb BUT NOT UNWAVERING>>I will not compromise my principles even to beliefs. (and that is something truly wonderful?) I still see you walking and pacing and pacing atop the HILL. You make A SPEC(lunette/brille)TACLE of yourself. How marvellous it is that your faith is upheld by dozens, millions. My faith is mine alone. {And that is probably honorable...} You sing to your lord. I have no need. You pray to your lord with hands and voice and thought. I pray effortlessly. THY WILL BE DONE, THY WILL ON MINE. You congregate to look to god. I sleep, eat, drink, study, burp, sneeze, see, breathe, choke, drink, run, walk, live, DIE for MY DEAR LORD/LADY/LOVER/LONGSHOREMAN(?/?/?/?). Canyousaythat 666 timesfast? (And your practices are yours and mine are mine. No wrong i see in either {and THAT IS SOMETHING ADMIRABLE....!....??????} I am blinding myself with this MAYA IF IT EXISTS? On my spiritual contact lenses. OW- The ideal I strive to reach E=QUALITY. When we all can function as one entity without sacrificing our IndividUaliTy. IMPOSSIBLE? You say? That possibility of impossibility... It's quite probable. (AND THAT IS TRULY BEAUTIFUL...) I will sleep now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Having rested in the crux of the highest, kindest one (The PINNACLE of tr- uth.) I wake up. I get dressed. I fall asleep again. % Now new BfLlOeOsDh has entered my life. Do not tell me that the new way Is already but a CLICHE. I refuse to look up to DER TEUFEL. No, I don't hate him. (A SIMILE) He's my buddy. (I SMILE) But not my teacher. Not my sire. Not my keeper. Not my leader. And my brittle flesh will ever sting with the touch of sin. Any who may think an action sin, may just as well sin in that action alone. (i do not know) and that is truly wonderful I look to the past. For the time before modern ideals stagnated And for the time when the ideas were new, Before they stagnated, fell, returned, stagnated, fell, returned, and stagnated again. I look for the future for the time when modern stale ideals will have fallen and regrown into fresh versions, free from corruption complication convention bureaucracy and willing criminals. DEMOCRACY CAN'T WORK ALL THE TIME CAN IT? Inbetween we may need a horrible regime (not that I would support one, but, that, if needed, fate would provide...) of massive punishment to +=-=SHOCK=-=+ The populace into their right minds. Once realization has occurred and caused the people to feel for one another... Fate may just as easily have it overthrown. You know the new leaders' standard drill, "We'll NEVER Let that happen again." Maybe THEY won't, but generations later... ...when the law stagnates, when it grows stale and moldy... The long, chronic injustices {will?} be relieved by a sharp, quick, acute injustice. Yes I do believe in fate. You may not, or may (as well as I) call it yhwh, zeus, aemeth, or, even (90d 4-b1d) satan... I just feel (NOT KNOW) It is probably there. But we can still track our own destinies. ONCE SOMETHING HAPPENS YOU CAN CHALK IT UP TO FATE. And your long and winding road turns out to be the straight and narrow path. To have been all along. But only after the destination is reached... KEEP YOUR HEAD. The sea parts and you ride tr(y)i-umphant through the waves. All the turtles all the turtles. Look at all your subjects. A black cloud descends and you cleave it with your dying br^^^eath. Your knife stuck in your ribcage; you've killed yourself, Republic. The turtle's flippers turn much less clumsy when you wake up from the cold gray sleep of the dagger. They are more articulate, more powerful. O GOD IM TIRED NOW I SLEEP---------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------============================================================== ============================================================================== ============================================================================== ============================================================================== ============================================================================== ============================================================================== ========================================-------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (That = was a deep sleep) --WAIT A SEC-- Why do my hands burn? In the fingertips my hands feel the fire (of God?) (Of Der Teufel?) (Of psychosomatic psymptoms?) Here we go again... ** WHY JESUS HAS/HAVE/HAD (?) A 'FRO: A mystical doctrine/dogma/treatise by the Apostle/Mystic/Dogmatist/Witch (?) WALTONN of MOCIGEMBUS Translated from Pig-Latin by Waltonn of Mocigembus III Did Jesus have a 'fro? Or did he Give any lessons in 'frodory? The 'fro-round sun came up ire-red Mary was found in a river bed... wait a second. JESUS HAD A 'FRO or JESUS DIDN'T HAVE A 'FRO _THAT_ was the ANSWER! ***LIVE WITH IT!*** Why did Jesus/Jeesuss/Yesus/Wahoo have a 'fro? Knobody no! Except THE NUCLEUS/Maison de Dieu/Jahwe/Yahweh/YHWH/YHVH/Deo/GOTT ...or was it THE BLACK GOAT? ** ASSEZ! Let me try to get less lucid... The whole world pants as you force it to work Your whip will be the undoing of Earth Now the great black wisent once again roam How long before you push them out of their home? You stand at the head of a gargantuan host of black angels. Their spirits are unravelled unto you so you may control them. They do your dirty work Your bloodletting Your killing if need be " And to pay them for forced deeds You kindly let them drink & eat The spiritblood of all you slay By the hand of ye & they " Rome was not built in a day BUT SODOM WAS. So you want to run an empire? First step: Get One... ! MAISON DE DIEU A play SCENE 1 : A Paris Cafe' called Maison du Diable. ERASMUS sits at a table with HIERONYMUS BOSCH and H.P. LOVECRAFT. ERASMUS is drinking tea, BOSCH drinks black coffee, and LOVECRAFT drinks milk. ERASMUS: Why do I fall asleep all the time? BOSCH: You don't drink enough coffee. LOVECRAFT: You worry too much. ERASMUS holds up right hand in sign of the trinity ERASMUS: Why do I bless ev'ry god-damned wretch who passes me by? LOVECRAFT: Because they are too busy to bless themselves. BOSCH: Because you haven't enough else to do. ERASMUS: How is it that my tea becomes cold? BOSCH: No doubt a reflection of your god-damned heart, fellowman. LOVECRAFT: No doubt you aren't thirsty enough to finish it while it is hot. ERASMUS: Why is the author getting away with having us say "god-damned" twice? Shouldn't we say something more original? "Devil-taken"? "Everlovin'"? "Durned" even? BOSCH: It's part of the lesson. God and damnation must coexist. LOVECRAFT: I beg to differ, citizen. God is independent of damnation, as damnation is independent of God. ERASMUS: I side with the New-Worlder. A similar case would be the oath I have exclaimed twice, and Jerome, here, once: "god-damned". The oath "God!" is independent of the oath "damn!". Both can be used at once or separately. BOSCH: Now I ask a question: Why is Erasmus such a god-damned fool? LOVECRAFT: Say, now! Leave the man be! ERASMUS: I cannot disagree. I can be a fool at times. BOSCH: At all times. LOVECRAFT: Hieronymus! Stop it! BOSCH: Close your mouth, insolent New-Worlder. I sired your tradition! BOSCH hisses through his teeth at both his companions. His skin breaks open and a great snake, striped black, white, and red, emerges. The snake is beaten down by a man just entering the Maison du Diable: the real BOSCH. BOSCH: Sorry I'm late. Good lord what is this? A snake in my skin? LOVECRAFT: Hello, fellowman. I'm sure I knew it all along. You, my friend Jerome, would never insult a fellow citizen. ERASMUS: A confession is in order: I am not a citizen. I am but visiting this fair land France. LOVECRAFT: I, too confess. I am not a citizen either. BOSCH: Now it comes to this, I can say I am no citizen of Paris in reality. VOLTAIRE enters the cafe' and speaks. VOLTAIRE: I am a citizen. VOLTAIRE quickly exits. BOSCH: O man of Paris, what is your meaning? LOVECRAFT: He is gone. I believe he was informing us of his citizenship. VOLTAIRE enters the cafe' once more. VOLTAIRE: I will be a citizen no more after I leave for America. VOLTAIRE exits swiftly. LOVECRAFT: That has importance, mark my words. BOSCH: Simply write them on a napkin and I shall. LOVECRAFT begins writing "The Call of Cthulhu" on a napkin. BOSCH illustrates the story on other napkins. ERASMUS: May I view the work your hands produce? BOSCH: You may mine. LOVECRAFT: Read if you wish. ERASMUS: Hmmm..."Call of C...Ct...Ctull-huh?" LOVECRAFT: All must read my story and fail pronunciation. BOSCH: All must view my pictures and understand them not. ERASMUS: I must read and view. I must learn, and teach afterwards. Work on, fellow masters! ** AUDIENCE applauds and pays author rather hefty royalties ** Disregard the juvenile remark at the end. ** Prejudice: Thy arms entomb a whole nation Prejudice: Thy work is done by all ages Prejudice: Learning your way is a terror Unfortunately not such for students of thine. Mammon: Thy hands are the touch of the maya Mammon: Thy brow sports the crown of existence Mammon: A little bit goes a long way So why do you claw at the hearts of the rich? Solomon: Why art thine eyes shut like mussels? Solomon: Why hide you off from all company? Solomon: Your hands could mend what men call "wrongs" What is your reason for leaving us here? ** What is the meaning of life? To bring pleasure upon existence. How was life first conceived? A happy accident committed on purpose. Who first conceived life? That is hidden from mine eyes. ** Solday my blood brother Brings forth high tidings From Samedi Sammael Master of his. Sorath my blood brother Brings me great blessings Out of the mouth Of the sunwheeled bloodking Master MacSatan My cousin and friend Will stammer and stutter And bless me again I see your sepulchre opened once more. Incense burned for you. Prayers of hope and love spake for your soul. More incense. Belladonna. Lysergic acid. Lucifer. Lover. Heater. Phosphorus. Pyrophorus. Prometheus. Homunculus. Mercurius! Lupus! Agdistis!... *** HERE BEGINNETH A TALE. I KNOW NOT WHERE IT ENDS. DAS BUCH DER SUENDENBOCK PROLOGUE In the Year of someone's Lord eighteen hundred and twenty three, an insignificant spiritualist, Abraham Isaakssohn, wrote an insignificant book, Der Suendenbock predicting the coming of the Jewish messiah. The book, like the author, was ignored at the time of its publishing (it was printed by a tiny society of like-minded spiritualists), and quickly forgotten afterwards. The date of His birth was to be, by Isaakssohn's reckoning, in the year two-thousand and five, June the first. When this date came around, and no messiah seemed to appear, even the few scholars of the obscure who were in any way familiar with his work lost the tiny sparkle of interest in it that once they possessed. Apparently, so ends the insignificant legacy of Abraham Isaakssohn. JUNE 2005 Then, on the twenty-third of June, a nun, proven a virgin, gives birth to a boy with a full head of pure white curls, more like to the wool of a lamb than the hair of a child. He gently laughs as he comes into the world in a clean birth, smooth and dry as a child of a month or more, rather than screeching in blood as other newborn babies. Unfortunately, this child dies within an hour of birth. But perhaps a child of such beauty has no business in a world as real as this. JUNE 2005 In a small town just north of the Texas-Oklahoma border in the southern United States, a harlot has a child. The twenty-sixth of June, a boy is born to Frida Vida in a dirty apartment. He does not have one of the much-fabled cowls of blessedness or cursedness. His hair is not white. His body sports no birthmark, and his hands and feet have five digits each. He is not born with a full set of teeth. Instead, his mouth, fingers, toes, skin, and hair are all too identical to every other unwanted, unneeded child born into the material world. Soon he is abandoned by the one who wishes she could keep him. But see him crawl from the filth of his disposal; he's quite active for a malnourished infant of the lower strata of culture. Goodbye, Frida the sad. Goodbye, Palm Hills Apartments. Tomorrow the child will be on a farm, discovered by a pitying couple who will feed and shelter their new child. Their Immanuel Capri. JUNE 2020 Immanuel matures. He discovers that from such a low birth comes a brilliant and, if local girls can be trusted (which is doubtful), charismatic young man. He leads his class, making the highest marks his teachers have seen for years. He leads his church, praying the rosary like he should, such a good young man. Never in any trouble, never disagreeable. But his parents force him into studies, that is the root of his success. He is made miserable by the very saviors who swept him up from under the hoof of the Pale Horse. He despises their company and tunnels into the solitude of his room for hours. He reads the Bible, the only study he likes is religious. He dreams of being the Pope. He dreams the almost blasphemous: he dreams of being Jesus Christ. He imagines creeping free from his foster-parents' little prison while somehow utilizing his awesome powers of turning few loaves to many, water to wine, and fishermen to fishers of men. He walks on water in his mind, he conquers the whispers of "Fall down in worship of me, and all this shall be yours" that his adopted parents speak to him. He ascends to Heaven and is seated at the right hand... JUNE 2025 Immanuel moves to a small town just north of the Texas-Oklahoma border. He buys a gun to protect himself from the xenophobic crime scene that constantly revolves and twists around the vicinity of the Palm Hills Apartments. He gets a job at a local convenience store. He knows none of the popularity he enjoyed at home; he would have stayed in the area but for a desire to escape Mr. and Mrs. Capri. On his twentieth birthday, he dies in a way too common and insignificant to be detailed here. Nobody suspected he was the messiah who took away the sins of the world, least of all he himself. No new religion was founded on his death, only a funeral service. No unfulfilled soul ceased looking for a personal savior as a result of his existence. When he was born, a cycle began. When he died, it ended, and took with it any possibility of mortals being damned to eternal punishment. He died, but never rose, and never will he come again, for his purpose is served. ******* Now I see you pulling up your carrots from the skin of the earth. You have grown them well, and now is your reward: you eat them. I mourn for your children. Your turtles call to you, you answer with a tired cliche. They need to lay their eggs. You insist they fill out forms upon forms before planting their progeny in the warm sand. Your bureaucracy is perfect, so you think. ******* Holding hands with a plastic woman described in a ransacked verse, you call dejectedly. Where are all the turtles gone? Home sweet home sweet home. You think that sounds good and hop in a motorcar and start her up, the mannequin sitting blankly in the passenger's seat. Holy Holy Holy As the timbers burn beside me And the Home of P. Bysshe Shelley Breaks in shining sparking rage ---O the Hallowed Wasteland Where the happy men stare blankly Where the happy apples grow Where the turtles still surround you ---All is lost to time tide Sad and weary in the horse race Sad and punctured in the sundance As the sunlight filtered through (sorath) (Sorath) (SORATH) You call in full dejection Full quick pulse fear of desertion Wand'ring ever in the alley Open hand, and bleeding And the year comes to a finish. The maddening star, he rejects you. The turtles don't look toward you. You crawl, desperately, to the hyena bands. Even they don't want you. I accept the turtles as part of nature's way. And the star. Even the hyenas. Good God Bestow on me that most righteous thing that I've had all along but needed you to confirm it! Yea, verily, and verily, verily, true. ** The castrated boy's middle name was Agdistis. The werewolf's middle name was Lupus. The alchemist's middle name was Mercurius. The prostitute's middle name was Ishtar. The Jew's middle name was Isaac. The philosopher had no middle name. ** ***SIN*** A logical heresy ARGUMENTS 1. God is all-powerful 2. Sin goes against God 3. Sin does exist THEREFORE, ONLY ONE OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS IS TRUE: 1. God is NOT all-powerful 2. Sin does NOT go against God 3. Sin does NOT exist EACH OF THE ABOVE PRESUPPOSE THE FALSENESS OF THE OTHER TWO: Here is my reckoning. 1. By my ideas, "God" is all-powerful, and 2. Anyone can tell you that something they call "Sin" exists My interpretation: 3. Sin does NOT go against God (It goes against Man?) Sin is a misunderstanding of natural human energies, as Will Blake said. The only sin, to me, is the accusation of sin in others, which, of course, means that even this is not truly sin but a personal feeling. If I accuse another of sin, this is my own Sin. If they accuse me, well, I can only guess. Lesser of what I consider, in myself, "wrongs" or "flaws", and in others, Heaven knows, include: 1. violence against another for a reason other than self-defense or masochism. 2. depriving another of any possession, mental, material, or bodily (i.e., respectively, free will or feeling, money or clothing, legs or kidneys) with- out that person's (or that person's guardian/executor of will) express consent. 3. slavery of any person without that person's (etc.) express consent. 4. intimate contact/sexual intercourse with a person without that person's permission. 5. hatred Back to basic arguments. Here follows a not-so-basic argument: 4. From a Christian perspective, did not Christ die for the SINS OF THE WORLD? This means, I gather, that as soon as Christ died, the entire concept of "sin" as a truth in the Christian world broke down, and that, from then on, ABSOLUTELY NO ACTION WAS TRULY SIN. All Christian-based persecution, I believe, springs from the twin misunderstandings that REPENTANCE was somehow necessary before Christ's death had meaning, and (I'm sure I've mentioned this SOMEWHERE before) that the LAWS set forth in the NEW TESTAMENT and OLD were, in the Christian world, some sort of book by which MEN could set up their own CHURCH LAW SYSTEMS, and not, as I believe, an intensely PERSONAL guide to be applied to one's OWN deeds rather than the deeds of ones around one. (It seems to me something of this idea was more than hinted at in the passage about casting the first stone, and the one about the mote in thy neighbor's eye.) 5. I think maybe I've discovered the reason REPENTANCE is supposed by some to be necessary before forgiveness. It is because of a) the feelings of power one gets when one extracts a confession, and because b) when a dying person repents, they feel at peace, as if this FURTHER (not initially) qualifies their forgiveness. Maybe this second feeling was misunderstood and led to feelings of power (a.) and thus to the misconception noted in argument number (4.). **** I see a striking parallel today: Jesus said "I Am The ALPHA And The OMEGA" The original man was ADAM (first letter: ALPHA) The final man will be ONNOPHRIS (first letter: OMEGA) Therefore, IESHUA CHRISTOS was both: The common (natural, or imperfect) man: ADAM of red clay And The full ("supernatural", or perfect) man: OSIRIS-ONNOPHRIS of white marble descriptive: Adam-Kadmon, the flawed man, basks in a perfect world, a Garden of lush greenery IN THE BEGINNING. His skin is deep red-brown from the sun, Shemesh, who bestows its light through God's will. Osiris-Onnophris, the unflawed man, stands in the dim light of an imperfect world IN THE END. His skin is pale white, although his features are negroid, for little light reaches this burning island. I AM THE alpha AND THE omega=I AM THE beginning AND THE end It all breaks down to, eventually: I AM (YHWH) ****** (HA! I knew I fooled you! Religion is NEVER logical!) Talk about AESTHETICS, I saw a BOOK today so BEAUTIFUL nearly made me FAINT. I am an aesthetic being, flitting in and out of art and sacrilege. Violence is caused by hatred: "Any man capable of hatred is capable of violence." Hatred is caused by disgust or jealousy: "Any man capable of disgust is capable of hatred." Disgust springs from pride, cause of what men call "SIN". It is the pride that whispers: "you are better than THIS" Jealousy springs from pride, cause of what men call "SIN". It is the pride that whimpers: "Something better..." As long as men are capable of pride, the world is not safe. When a Satanist and a Christian can worship in the same church, the world will be safe. Reminds me of a scripture, although I'm sure the original author had no such metaphor in mind...The one about "a little child shall lead them", you know the one where the ox lies down with the whatever and the wolf lies down with the who-knows. Think about it. --- KEIN MITLEID FUER DIE MINDERHEIT So they're taking "In GOD we trust" Off of the dollar It seems to me this is what's fair But the Church-loving Church Presumes itself taller And wont to stop this with a prayer But if they'd truly hold All men equally dearly, Ignoring fat ego which taints If they would but realize This ne'er is, was, nor will be The land of the angels Or home of the saints, They'd let this bill pass And thus Black James condone As they honor their own church and such But since Peter built His house on the wrong stone This behen chowd church hasn't changed much --- FOURTH-GRADE NIGHTMARE [ADAPTED; IN A CERTAIN WAY] VERY loosely based on testimony from an untrustworthy little boy It's Midnight in the bedroom. A cold Boy wakes up. He hears Rustling in the dark. the Boy cuts to the chase, asks the intruder: "Are you evil?" Matter-of-fact kind of kid. Bone-chill voice whistles "Yes" In the dark. the Kid blacks out. Seems to dream he's dancing with lime-green men with pointy heads & ears. Scaly helmets. Evil in every single one. Concentrated evil. Music wild and hideous, alien and chaotic, if not chaos itself. he wakes up, if he was ever really asleep. Flash-forward: the kid is 20. Has little statuette his grandma gave him. Pointy head n ears. Scaly helmet. Ask about it, and he'll say "Oh, that's 'Yes'" Flash-back: kid just woke up if he was ever asleep. Next night, another voice whispers: "I am the Death of Life. I will confront you every night as long as you live." A different voice, even more evil than pure evil. The kid is naturally paralyzed with fear. Says nothing to anyone. Two weeks later: (Doorbell). the Kid answers the door. A man with pale, pale skin and an ill-fitting brown corduroy suit stands at the door. From his back hangs a power cord plugged into an extension. The strange thing about the man: his width is normal from left to right. His height is normal from top to bottom. But from front to back, he is inhumanly thin, almost 2-dimensional... ... MASTER Thrumming (is that a real word?) in your bones Your legs snap in half with a well-placed smack From the whip in the hand of the Man Of Old Stone No longer a bright land The stormclouds grow black Striving (now that's a real word) for success You're shocked into action, the key of it all When authority tells you you've made such a mess, You're Lucifer High at the time of the fall Living (a real word it's not) all alone The whip cracks and shatters your so-weakened back Escape will not come from the Man Of Old Stone Supposedly Sane, There is something he lacks... ?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/? HI SHEKKI Here comes Shekki, riding her own wings down a flame column in the sky. Verily, verily, her wings measureth 666 cubits and her arms 777. You reach out to Nobo. Shekki taps your shoulder. You take her taps for a gnat landing. You swat at her. I embrace her and she absorbs me. I ascend with Enoch and Elijah among others. You take my rising like Peter took Simon's: not at all. A stone cracks my skull. Too late! I'm already in the healing shroud of mists. Too bad! The sky rains virginsmilk for 3 days afterward. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ \TREATISE:REHASH/ IDEALS in time and space Ah, Churl, drinke all and Was Jesus Chaste? Or did he leave no drop for me. Give any lessons of Chastity? -WShakespeare -WBlake =Christian Polytheistic Monism= Gnostic Christian Mysticism Benevolent Diabolism to sum it up Cristeanity! Benign Thelemism A Good Christian who is also a Gnostic. Acentric Enlightenment Love is the Law Love under will Egyptian Polytheism Graeco-Roman Polytheism Yes Indeed! SATAN commands the MARITIME LEGIONS! (No Offense, all you Jr. Maritime Legionnaires) Satan as a force or will Understanding Kahlo 101--Communist Theory Power Overboard 101--Communist Practice Democracy can't work all the time can it? Old Christianity vs. Gnostic Persecution Modern Christianity The Jew Christians vs. "Sin" takes the stink out of pure virtue The Gentile Christians Cognition as a sense The Arabs vs. Stay with the losing team, The Crusaders The winners will corrupt you The Gnostic Christians vs. The Roman Christians Encircler The idiots shall inherit the Earth... and make it clean. -ZZZ-: The Snake and the Lion Background Noise Totemism A seven-pointed star Messianism Sutech (recessive genes) Religion in General Scale Lycanthropy Wolf Sethian Gnostic Ideals and the 3 Steles of Norea! Materialism/Aesthetics opposite yet identical Clothed in Light Logistics Full Faith, Full Wisdom, No Chastity Atheism Culture Overlap Conquerors take the ideas of conquered races Conquered races take the ideas of Conquerors Philosophy Only time will tell Alchemy Time has told already Universal Compassion Time has always told Taoism Zen Buddhism The End Organized Religion-Organized Crime Autonomy Deism Old Form Is God Indebted to Us? Horned Beast Does not the law say we are Gods? (*The Pinnacle of Truth*) And shall we act sycophantically to the Lord? Equals should not bow except through respect Osiris married his own Sister, as did his Father, and his Father's Father before him. Is it any wonder they have animal heads? (recessive genes) Mi-lo Fo.../Crept from the ashes/of a rosaried church/turned in time like the rest Apollo's gold staff tarnished ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE (IF ANYTHING) Thelemic "Satanists" generally show more compassion towards fellow human beings than majority Christians, and yet the Christian law states: Love thy enemy and the Thelemic law permits even killing as: Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law. As Elmer Fudd says: There's something awfully screwy 'round here... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [TO BE READ IN A SENILE MUMBLE:] Damn atrophied church... Broken on its be'n chood rusty hinges... Heh...like ta kick its fallen walls a bit... Heh... 's the thing keepin' me outta work... 's the thing keepin' me outta luck... 's the thing keepin' me at home inna basement... 's the thing keepin' me back, that's whaddit is... Keepin' us back fer so many years... Heh... like ta kick its fallen icons a li'l bit longer... Heh... *** You spit on a cross, not only do they take it as if you were one of the taunters or crowners-with-thorns of Jesus Christ, but as a personal insult to themselves, their religion, and religions in general ("you atheist swine"). They fail so terribly to make a much-needed connection. I've never heard tell of a person in a confessional: "Father, I ate flesh from the carcase of a swine last Tuesday. Forgive me, forgive me!" or "Father, I had carnal relations with a female slave who had already been living with another man but had not yet been redeemed or given her freedom. Atone me, atone me!" BUT the birds of the air of whose flesh thou shalt not partake will screech and swoop down upon them, whispering to obey laws that exist only in their own heads. --- A being is locked in a brick cell buried one mile beneath the earth's surface. This being is both male and female, and gains its nourishment from roots put out by its feet and brow. Leaves on its head have wilted. It needs to escape the cell, and thus formulates a plan: It is both female and male, so it will produce offspring by itself, and these will assist it in escape. After a difficult procedure, of which the imagination of the reader can, but not necessarily wants to, provide the contortionary details, this being waits. It can imagine a child growing within its hard-to-describe womb, possibly even twins. These children can break it free. Nine months pass. Nothing happens. The being goes through a similar procedure to the first one (exact duplication of the first procedure being well-nigh impossible) and waits in solitude another nine months. No birth pains are felt, no children break through. Another time, the operation is put through. The months pass by. No bodies protrude from the loins of the being. The futility can be smelled. The being, with the panic of one abandoned by the deceiver, realizes, in an appalling horror, of which the imagination of the reader can, but definitely does not want to, provide the contortionary details, that it is sterile. ### You stand on a hill sacrificing more and more sheep. I burn a wisp of cornsilk, like Cain's sacrifice, only accepted, because it is all I have. You cut the livers out of expensive dogs and boil them for a god. My sacrifice is my hair now. I cut off every snippet of copper for a cause I know nothing of. Your sacrifice is now your trusting turtles. The shells are stripped from the backbones with a surgeon's precision. I release my eyes from my sockets with a crude stone tool. You evaporate oceans. I rip out my own lips. They come off in bloody shreds. You tell your god he can have the universe for your sacrifice. I tell my god I know my sacrifices are futile, because my god owns me and my possessions already. My god IS me and my possessions already. The god that exists as a conscious force of time nature space etc sacrifices all that IT has for US. Respects are exchanged. We both go on our ways. @@@ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (chnoubis avemorph) OBJECTIVE LIGHT INVOCATIO: To the master of this world, the deceiving 333 who is actually a 000 Who is called X0P0NZ0N or CHORONZON by some and despised by myself "THEWORL THEONEI THETRUT DISNOTT SALLOUR HWILLMA HEONETH TRUTHTH KEUSFRE EWORLDI ETRUTHT EANDOVE SRULEDB HATONEP RTURNTH YPOWERS ROVIDES EPOWERS THEPOWE TOMAKET THETRUE RSMAKEU HETRUEC ANDFREE SSLAVES OMPLETE DAREONE" --The 3 STELES of NOREA SEMESEILAM YOU CANNOT STOP HIM YOU CANNOT DESTROY HIM NOR EVEN SILENCE HIM He Has Survived MILLENIA There is no And Still Lives sharp line IN ALL HEARTS dividing LIGHT and DARKNESS How can you stop YOUR OWN HEART ? Sigmaepsilonmuepsilonsigmaepsiloniotalambdaalphamu eternal A GOOD CHRISTIAN WHO IS ALSO A GNOSTIC. Jesus Jesus Osiris Osiris Abraxas Abraxas YOU YOU is the is the is the is the is the is the are the are the MAN GOD MAN GOD MAN GOD MAN GOD You cannot stop him, never could; evil can't and neither good Cain and Abel never died Who said Jesus never cried? (Seth is One, Osiris is One--You cannot do battle until you are ONE.) Solid lessons hard to learn. Think you'll fly or think you'll burn? This is the lesson that cannot be taught...Hell is gone yet Heaven's not Understand? Or think you do? Wait until your final clue... If you search for it ANYWHERE, you'll find Heaven is not there But wait until the message last, The puzzle's confusion shall be past ============================================================================== SPIEGEL GEGEN KUNST UND NATUR: IN PRINCIPIO, ERAT NIHIL "A man without a god Is like a fish without a bicycle" ---...Who said that? In the beginning, there was nothing. In fact, there never was even a beginning. Let's start over. In the beginning of THIS CURRENT UNIVERSE, at an exact median point between an ultimate beginning infinite years before and an ultimate end an eternity later (as all points in time naturally are) There was nothing. And that nothing was a something. That something was what some call "NATURE" That something was what some call "GOD" Some who call it nature are atheists. I respect that. But some who call it nature see it an abomination against God, a God they see as a separate and higher being above all nature. Some who call it God are pagans. I respect that. Some who are like myself (these people may or may not actually exist in this universe at this time) call it both God and Nature. God is the artistic and emotional name for it. Nature is the scientific and natural name for it. Thus the semi-plagiarized title, SPIEGEL GEGEN KUNST UND NATUR. This "GOD" decided to create something. This "NATURE" chanced to form into something. "GOD" said let there be matter. "NATURE" began as physical matter. *SIDENOTE: (If God made the universe, of what material did he make it?) What did God make everything out of? What was there to make anything out of? God "IT"self. Of course, he could create something to make matter out of, but he would have to create that from himself as well. (We might as well say, "of himself, for what else was or is there?) Please ignore any pseudo-logic statements such as these that appear in any of my work. I know that faith and logic are opposite. These "logic" sidenotes are just notes to myself, and not meant to take the place of anything in any work that anyone might see as beautiful. I know logic is never part of a mass-opiate. And that is truly beautiful. All matter evolved by the will of "GOD" "GOD" has a consciousness, but it penetrates everything so deeply that no-one ever notices it, and, for literally ALL intents and purposes, except those of "GOD" (or "NATURE"), i.e., the only ones that matter, we humans can treat it as nothing more than an object of mutual respect and/or a force that, on any level above the lowest (or highest), i.e., "GOD"'s, i.e., the only one that actually matters, seems an utterly random and unprerecorded sequence of events. Indeed, "GOD" does NOT play dice with the universe, except SEEMINGLY, on the levels that do NOT matter in the least. All matter reflects god. Therefore, an example: An Abraxas Gem is a 2-dimensional representation of A 3-dimensional "imaginary" being (which exists on another plane, from the KUNST view and in another universe from the NATUR) which represents An x-dimensional (perhaps... 8-dimensional (?) for example) being which reflects (and is a lower-dimension extension and part of) An infinite-dimensional "being" or "presence" or "force" called, by some "GOD" Therefore all men are god, because they were created directly from god's "material" (called a red clay in Genesis) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I also believe that, in the (personally) unlikely event that there actually WAS an orginal human, it was a woman, because women can bear young. Perhaps Lilith is actually the first human, vilified by religious male- supremacists. I also believe that nothing can exist without everything else in existence happening to be in existence at that moment. Nothing necessary can ever be destroyed while it is still necessary; this is because NATURE is ruled by unbreakable laws and GOD is omnipotent (different ways of saying the same damn thing). I also believe that a man has the inalienable right to write incompetently and incoherently on a test at school... (I'm falling asleep as I write this... can you telll...?) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (jesous deimorph) FILTERED NATURE INVOCATIO: To the master of absolutely nothing, the deceiving 333 who is actually a 000 Who is called xp0n0z0n or Chronozon by some and treated with apathy by myself OSIRIS He contains an Essence He contains a Flame He contains a Divinity He is identical to You and everything You could ever come into contact with There is no need to invoke If he is taken away him, nor even from you, he will believe in always return. him. He has no need for If you remove yourself believers nor from him, he will always even a need find you again. to exist. If he does not If a seth cuts him into exist, something tiny pieces, there will will always replace him. always be an isis to wrap him in linen. omicronsigmaiotarhoiotasigma He is ONE If he descends in form, he is still the perfect man Dividing him just makes him strong Nothing he can do is wrong Strengthen him and he will die Yet another will supply Another has, another will Another was the one you killed You are he and he is you He will show the final clue ============================================================================== NOBOD. IBID. O Locust of Anguish Old Locust of Shame The Locust who argues about God's true name O Locust of Sorrows Great Locust of Pain O Locust who carries Horned Moses' train A Locust deceives A Locust descends A Locust's repairs make no fucking amends The Locust will scratch On the roots he will gnaw A Locust has bit George Bernard Fucking Shaw ============================================================================== How did you get this far? How did *I* get this far? My own expectations were completely wrong. A lot less people hate me than I must deserve. Why did you get this far? The scapegoat and the guilt. Why did I get this far? This is a question I cannot answer. ****************************************************************************** CHORONZON Let us embrace this concept for now... This is called by the title Choronzon By the title Cthulhu and numerous others, including Satan, Beliel, Mephistopheles, etc. But most people refer to another when they speak of these. I am the only who uses the title CHORONZON to refer to nothing. Not the concept of nothingness, not even, in truth, "nothing", but that which cannot be named, in effect, Lovecraft's Unnameable. The only reason I call nothingness by the title CH0R0NZ0N (which actually is the title of another being) is because it is the closest name to nothing I can imagine. Actually, the being I use Choronzon (and Cthulhu's) title to describe should not be referred to. It is incapable of being referred to. That is why the surrogate XOPONZON is used. I believe this is the deceit: All things reflect God The complete Therefore all things reflect truth antithesis "Choronzon" must be nothing of "God"; But everything is something Whereas "God" And nothing is nothing is literally So "Choronzon" is that which cannot be imagined capable of Cannot be imagined even by God ANYTHING (and And, because "God" is omnipotent, then some), "Choronzon" is not even CAPABLE of EXISTENCE "Choronzon" is literally So no fear can be pinned to "Choronzon" capable of But fear comes from "Choronzon" NOTHING (and and the imagining of what he might look like MUCH less!) When, to paraphrase, the only thing we have to fear is nothing. But, some men may choose to worship Choronzon These do not worship the SAME Choronzon I have just "described", but a being capable of existing, and therefore, a reflection of truth. Because if men could worship "Choronzon", God/Nature/Scientific Law would not be all-powerful And therefore, the only thing that could come from worship of that being Would be more deceit (Kinda like William S Burroughs described junk virus). Three zeros When multiplied by anything Invariably result in more zeros Sure there is a part of God that wants to kill us... That's why we acknowledge It But worship something else. Both parts, however, reflect truth. "Choronzon" reflects nothing. (can you understand how difficult it was for me to explain my idea of "xoronzon" like that? I mean, i understood it, but not in words... it was really difficult.) ('strewth) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ STANDING DECISION Here comes Old Locust The side we resist Here comes Old Locust And, Lord, is He pissed Here comes the Dyer With markers and paint Here comes the Cryer To wash out the taint Here stands the Devil In your flesh he's shod Here stands the Devil A harmless red god Here stand all peoples The devil in them Here stand the steeples And under them, sin Here sits the Criste A complement to The red, devilish, feisty And ancient Nobo. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ MYTHS ARE JUSTIFIABLE LIES ARE NOT but lies do not exist not lies utterly devoid of truth, anyway. therefore LIES ARE JUSTIFIABLE CHADHULU IS NOT Chadhulu=XOPONZON 000x333=0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Speak to thy mother: ABLANATHANALBA Scream to thy god: IAOANARABARANAOAI Justify these And thou'll surely succeed. --- Pope Rovanos is the one I see in my dreams. He is a bloody man full of beard, and riding on a chariot drawn by steers. his eyes are great and round cyclops eyes, wide with the numb lust for blood brought on in some by the scab created by the Opium of Them All. They are not spiritually wide. His relief is in bronze, a bas-relief from ancient Italy. It hangs on the woodpaneled wall, framed in dark metal. He thrusts a spear forward. He is not evil, though he believes there is such in others. He is infallible. he is undeniable. he is dead and buried. --- I don't believe in Providence the way most people believe in Providence. I believe in Providence the way most people believe in School. --- If religion is the opiate of the masses, I must be on Yage' spiked with Yohimbine! ****************************************************************************** EPIPHANY *note:(MODIFIED) ON GOD: I currently believe that "God" is a force or process that exists in the same space as we do, extending into infinite dimensions, planes, etc. This, I believe causes ALL natural occurrences, no matter how mundane they seem. I believe god has name (A name or MANY names), I do not know that name (those names), but I do believe he has one (or more), possibly secret, names (Well, hell! Of course he has many names! And they're all equally true. One can imagine god hiding one or more names, so that's what he does. On the other hand, one can also imagine that God keeps no secrets. This is also true.) I believe God has the ability to a form (Well, hell again! Of course! He's God! He IS form!).* He may not always take one (at least, one "part" of him may become formless at any given time, or all of him may). God has infintite aspects. One or all or some created this universe, and another, perhaps one of the (or the only) demiurge, is worshipped as a masculine deity by Jews, Christians, and various other patriarchal cultures. I believe "he" also has a feminine aspect worshipped by Ancient Greeks, some Jews, some Christians, and various other cultures which acknowledge the feminine. ON SATAN: I believe Satan is simply a maligned name designating free will and the will of the universe. In any case, I do not believe that God will usually punish anyone, no matter how heinous the crime (unless, of course, the person _wants_ to be punished, or feels they deserve it deeply...) and that, if Hell exists, it usually serves as a "kingdom" or "domain" for a physical manifestation (of any dimensional quality) of the "Satanic" aspect of God and Nature. ON LIFE AND DEATH: Life is arbitrarily defined here as the quality taken on by all parts of God (the Universe, Existence Itself) that are less-than-infinite- dimensional (the infinite-dimensional Godhead containing an essence purer than mere life) and exist in a particular universe. Example: a man (3-dimensional) is "alive" when he exists as a man in a universe. His "life" leaves when he ceases to be what is defined as a "live man" and begins to be what his fellows call a "dead man". Eventually he will... wait... Please disavow all that fruitless speculation. I discover that the definition of life depends primarily on language, not metaphysics... I hereby renounce my personal belief in life and death. sorry for the wild goose chase. --- * The closest thing that I have found to an actual physical description of God (and probably my earliest contact with, inspiration from, and ideas of a heretical view of God) is as follows. Excerpted from _THE ZORK CHRONICLES_ by George Alec Effinger, pages 275-277: Further speech was prevented by the arrival of a blur in the office. Certainly, to Mirakles and Spike it must have been just a mysterious blur. To the trans- dimensionally-enhanced eyesight of Glorian and Morgrom, however, it was an even weirder sight. It was a figure that was in constant change--a lion, a bluebird, a tulip, an old woman, a reindeer, an oak sapling, a slime mold, a teenage boy, a grey squirrel, a lobster, a salamander. The figure was changing so rapidly and so constantly that it didn't hold the same form long enough to be visible to human eyes as other than a blur. A talking blur. "Glorian, I congratulate you and Prince Mirakles and Spike on your success." The voice more or less filled the room, coming from everywhere. It was a kind, patient, and absolutely authoritative voice. Although Glorian had never seen this strange being before, he knew immediately that it was the Control Character.... ...."Sir," said Glorian, "are you taking an active or passive role in this struggle?" "Why," said the Control Character, "active of course." "No!" screamed Morgrom, "I demand--" Suddenly, Morgrom was absent. He was gone. He wasn't there so much, it was almost as if he'd *never* been there.... ...."Why didn't you step in sooner?... Why did you risk the ruin of our universe, and put the responsibility for its safety on our shoulders?" The blur ... shrugged.... "Listen to me and try to understand," said the Control Character. "There is not one universe, but an uncountable infinity of them. I seem to have had an active hand in creating this one, but of the others I can say nothing. There are uncountable universes and uncountable Control Characters and uncountable Spikes in them. What is the loss of one universe? Nothing. Not even a tiny dent in the reality of the multiverse.".... ...."Perhaps so, Sir," said Spike, "but this is the only universe I have. From your point of view, it would've been no great loss for this reality to be ruined, or to disappear entirely. I just don't see it that way."..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wait a second! MORALS have no place in Christianity. WORSHIP is not a part of the Christian Belief. The closest thing Christianity could be called to these might be a set of suggested guidelines. The only place money has in a chapel is money that is given to less fortunate people (or, what the hell, MORE fortunate people!). The only thing religion means to me is compassion and equality. MORALS can be broken, which leads to PERSECUTION. WORSHIP leads to ceremonies with shiny uniforms and books, gold and silver chalices. Mind thou, There's nothing wrong with ceremony. It's fun! It's just not NECESSARY. The necessity for me is love and elimination of excess pride. --- NEVER accept your FATE! A thing is not fated until it has irreversibly ALREADY HAPPENED. (see above: "once something happens you can chalk it up to fate".) Example: A Jew is captured by nazis during wwii. He is placed in a death camp. He can either accept it as fate that he is GOING to die in the camp (this is presupposing. branches form off of the current universe, and the path followed by events is, though prerecorded, prerecorded in multiple, nay, infinite, versions. until it happens, an event is always a POSSIBILITY) or accept as fate the fact that he is currently in the camp, but not the future event of death in the camp (advisable. he sees what has happened; that WAS fate. Fate works invariably in the PAST TENSE, future is always open). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EPIPHANY CONTINUED ON UNIVERSE: I believe in parallel universes, at least their possibility. I believe that at all moments, in some universe or another, every possible version of any imaginable (or unimaginable save by Godhead) event is occurring, has occurred, and will occur yet. Every conceivable object, in some universe or another, has existed, exists, and will exist yet in any number of these infinite universes. ON EQUALITY: All men, women, children, animals, and beings in general are equal. ON JUDGMENT: If we *will* in fact be judged, it will be by "God". Nothing else has any right of judgment. God may well wish to judge us, but he might not give a damn about whether we are "naughty or nice". I think it a rather egotistic idea that God cares about us. He may, but who are we to order God around? ON SUFFERING: I feel one should fill his/her life with as much pleasure as possible without causing pain to others, if at all possible. However, if pain does come, bear it, and try your hardest to shake it off. ON BEAUTY: In my VERY personal opinion, I feel humans and other sentient beings are the only beings capable of ugliness. Not that all humans are ugly, far from it. But instead of judging others, I let my feelings toward their attitude and ideals shape my view of their physical looks. I could be disgusted by an intensely beautiful woman if I found her ideas disgusting. (But I would still treat her equally). ON HOLY WRIT: Humanly unenforcible laws such as those in Holy Writ are guidelines to YOUR life if you choose to accept them, not manuals of persecution to be used for judgment of others. EPILOGUE: We know so little even now, and yet puff ourselves like toads. How many realize how worthless (or how worthy) their lives may be? I end with a quote and a disclaimer. I know not if anything here is true. I simply guess blindly at a seemingly viable theory of existence & philosophy AS OF NOW. I may well formulate or discover some better idea later, epiphany striking every day as it does. I offer no apologies. I offer no comfort. I offer what may or may not be reality. If this be the work of the devil, the devil I must be. A QUOTE: "Nothing is true; Everything is permitted" --- HASSAN i SABBAH The old man of the mountain ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEUKAPOR from old Indo-European, sort of a "primitive" from of the more refined- sounding "Lucifer". Maybe his form before god finished sculpting him, a primeval "Lucifer-to-be". Perhaps he still takes this form when masked and repressed hatred or pride give way to intense, raw RAGE. He is hairy, with thicker body hair than usual (if body hair on a fallen angel IS indeed usual) and his eyes stare deadly with red flashes within. His teeth no longer white, they appear stained yellow and dirtied by fresh blood. His hair streams behind him, but not simply a bright yellow, but a yellow more bright, washed here and there with swatches of deep blood-red. Not dried-blood rust-red, but fresh vermillion blood red, as a sliced artery might spout. Rather than light beams, he holds terrible yellow lightning bolts, alive with his angry touch. A primitive picture of deep, almost undefined, bloodlust and anger. Leukapor, the bearded Lucifer. --- in many cases, if a given variable is intensified or increased enough, it comes to very closely resemble its exact opposite. examples: (Hot->Cold) (Cold->Hot) (Empathy->Apathy) [however, NOT (Apathy->Empathy)] the variable is not actually _made_ its opposite by intensification, it simply comes so closely to resemble it that the two are almost indistinguishable by the human mind at first glance. --- Is it true? Is it false? Is it religion? Is it philosophy? Is it madness? Is it normal? Is it sick? Is it sane? Is it none of these, yet all? I throw myself on your mercy. You My Judges. --- As God once said in German, "WO BIST ADAM?" --- HATE ONE Hate one person and you hate the whole world Kill one person and you've slain your finest friend Hate one person and the world hates you Hate one, kill one; hate and kill yourself The bearded Leukapor hangs on his cross of gold And raises up his hand against his own curse`d self His heart shines with the excess heat of twenty-thousand hated men Reflected off and piercing through their bodies individually The female samael stands on her podium of hubris as Her holier-than-anyone gaze now ignites the other ones And standing by and watching and saluting Littleman The purest purist feels high on existence as a cog of hate Eleven men who hate create eleven-thousand enemies And raise their hands against them and against their curse`d selves While all around them lies a paradise that's peopled by imaginings Though once eleven-thousand, now eleven-hundred-millionfold ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ALTERNATIVE Radagast Holt sat by the fire. How many years had it been since he last saw his father? Twenty or so? Bandibott Holt slouched, half-asleep, in his comfortable velvet-lined reading chair. Why had his son returned? Surely not for money or advice. "Tch-tch, Radagast. This is most unexpected." In his hand he loosely held his tobacco pipe, carven to resemble, on one side a goat, and on the other a wild- looking man with short horns, leering like Dionysus after a few thousand wines. "Most unexpected, indeed, Father. I had no idea... You, alive, and, what's more, a wealthy, wealthy man! But I come not for money, Father..." "Hmmph. I thought not. Yet, Radagast, reveal to me your smoky secret. Why *have* you sought me out?" "No secret, I will come to that in time. Though, a pipe would rest well on my lips..." Called the elder man, "Hi! Wenceslaus! Fetch for my son a fine pipe and a finer tobacco! Wenceslaus?" "Yes, m'lord," bowed the servant Wenceslaus, "at once, a fine pipe and a rich tobacco blend..." Wenceslaus left the room for an interval, returning with an intricately abstract-designed pipe and a leather pouch containing tobacco. "Ah. Well, on with it." Radagast lit his pipe and inhaled the rich smell of the burning tobacco. "Yes. Father, I have come with a question asked of me by a woman of half my age. As you know, I live near St. Sido's well, where the fumes of the spring affect people like the oracles of Greece. This woman had bathed her head in the steams of this holy well for quite some time, and yet she could not dis- cover any answer. She asked the priests and rabbis, even the local scribes at the Great Library, yet none could divine for her a solution to her problem." "The Great Library... Is Saladin McTare still employed there? I have not heard word of him since... since I last spoke with him in 1245." "Yes, father, he continues to impress the scholars with his keen scientific observations. But, the question..." "Oh, yes. What was it?" "She asked all she met this: 'Is it indeed wise to eat the flesh of a fellow human being?'" "Well, I can easily enough define an answer. Yes, naturally. It is written in the Holy Book of the Scribes of Late Eden, 'And on the two-hundredth day of each year, the feast of St. Adam the First shall be held. The church doors shall open to all hungry, and all hungry shall eat from the flesh of slain enemies of the church, slain for religious crimes. For is it not said, "Thou shalt not blaspheme the church nor shall thou blaspheme thy God"?'. Have you not, yourself, participated in this renewal of spirit, my only Radagast?" "Father, yes, I have. But, in the very first Holy Book of the Bible, the Holy Book of the Scribes of Ya Cathedral, and in the tertiary chapter of that book, is it not equally written, 'The death of a man at your own hand shall be a curse and a blasphemy to you as well as to the God of Abraham, and a curse and blasphemy worthy of death by your own hand and by your own knife. By far the most wicked sin of all, deprivation of life-spirit calls for nothing but the immediate extermination of your own life through fire or weapon or noose.' And does not the cooked or even raw flesh of a man require that some man die?" Bandibott paused a second. His face had become blank and haggard. He paused a minute further. "Father. Father?" Radagast dropped his pipe and stood. Walking toward the old man, worried and panicking. "Father!" Wenceslaus rushed into the library. "M'lord! Is all well?" "No, no!" the terror-stricken Radagast choked, "My father... He has grown still and pale!" "Ah... the hundred-ninety-ninth day today, what? M'lord... perhaps we discuss this matter in the dining room..." Five minutes later, Radagast sat at the great banquet table with Wenceslaus at his side. "Radagast... I feel I may adress you thus, with your blessing..." "Indeed." replied the quiet Radagast quickly. "Radagast... Your father... His story is sad. His fortune was made... his fortune was made selling camels. As you know, the camel is an unclean animal, according to the Church, and one not to be handled. The Church executives discovered his business, and reported it to Pope Rovanos... Rovanos sentenced your father to die, but his cardinals suggested a more horrific penalty. With the help of the Conjunction-Clergy, those who talk with God through stars, they enlisted the aid of the sinister aspect of our Lord, known to some esoterically-acquainted men as Jehovemolech or Iauemelek... he was punished with excommunication, as well as death on every Adamseve, roasting and serving on St. Adam's Day, and, somehow, as God will find a way, revival to a poor imitation of a rich life on the day following, revival to an Inferno so much more final than the one in which Satan presides. Here, Man's will through God presides." ****************************************************************************** Imagine this: you suddenly and inexplicably find yourself standing in a large crowd of silent people in a semi-dimly-lit cavern-shaped room with a high ceiling. Half-lit lamps hang by iron chains from this ceiling. Far ahead of you, at the front of the room, a man with black hair and long, dark robes stands behind a platform. On the wall behind him, staked to the wall with iron spikes through wood beams, hangs a man in a dirty piece of cloth, his face twisted in agony and his brow and pate penetrated with small, sharp objects. The robed, dark-haired man by the altar speaks: he utters a ritual centuries old. He repeatedly refers to a golden chalice, full, he says, of human blood, and a platter, apparently piled with bits of human flesh. A wrinkled, ancient man in robes, stands by, observant. The dark-haired man looks oddly off into space and raises the chalice and a single, lily-white portion of the contents of the gold platter as the crowds of people join his old assistant in a terribly hypnotic melody of a chant, speaking one bizarre word (the meaning of which is almost totally forgotten) over and over and over... This really happened to me. It was a result of, apparently, short-term reactive undifferentiated schizophrenia; this, in turn, probably was caused by loss of sleep. Actually, the occurrence itself was real. My perception was the only part of it affected by the temporary psychosis. If you were in my shoes at the time, you would probably have accepted the ceremony as ordinary, even (possibly) necessary. My prejudices and preperceptions of it were simply broken down, as were my motor abilities, by my lack of sleep the former night. I was in a Christian church during communion, and this experience taught me how bizarre even normal, majority religious ceremonies are. I forgot what "Amen" signified, and the chant became eldritch and unfamiliar. The man on the wall was a crucifix, and the robed men were, of course, priests. So, compare this mask of cannibalism with a ceremony involving cutting weird signs into a pentagram on the floor. In this case, the normal becomes disgustingly abnormal. Which ceremony is the moreso? --- FATE WILL PROVIDE! ****************************************************************************** EUREKA. I suddenly learned how to undestand 4-dimensional space, and realized WHY (or at least HOW) it is that 4-dimensional objects take up a literally infinitesimal amount of space in our 3-dimensional universe. It began with me trying to explain 3-dimensional space to a 2-dimensional being (hypothetical, of course). Then, I realized that, unlike other methods I had used to do this, this explanation actually could be adapted, through analogy, and used to explain 4-dimensions: Imagine, if you must, a sphere. Then, imagine another sphere of exactly the same size, in the exact same place and position as the first sphere. Imagine that your head is in the first sphere, but not in the second. Then imagine that your feet are in the second sphere, but not the first. Voila! The area taken up by the rest of your body is in 4-dimensional space. (For the three-dimensional explanation for 2D beings, simply replace sphere with circle.) --- QUOTES Quoting is an important, if petty, practice. You can learn a lot from quotes. They are only a beginning, mind you, much like a learning-method equivalent to W. S. Burroughs's literary "Cut-Ups" method... : "The mutation from terrestrial to interstellar life must be made, because the womb planet itself is going to blow up within a few billion years... Planet Earth is a stepping stone on our time-trip through the galaxy..." --Timothy Leary, PhD., and L. Wayne Brenner, TERRA II is just a complex and specifically applied way of saying: "We're Here To Go." --William S Burroughs The following was from the mouth or pen of a schizophrenic. I, for one, believe it makes perfect sense, except for the one word at the end, which can easily be sorted out through context: "God is Consciousness; Consciousness is Everything the Ultimate Reality. Life is an Evolution of Consciousness. The Divine Plan is the Evolution of Spiritual Consciousness. The super-Conscious, the Conscious and Subconscious are the three departments of the One Consciousness. It is a balance of opposite Balarities [sic] on all questions into Ultimate Synthesis." The next was also by a schizophrenic, and I think it well illustrates the same ideas I put across in the "Doctrine" section of this work: "I wet the world it was thirsty for knowledge, money, peace. I watered the flower that no longer symbolized peace but now was the sign of the dude who wore it hoping he would be watered for he was thirsty for love." ... ...: "[Lambert:]-DO YOU DO EVERYTHING DRABK TELLS YOU? [Yendred:] OF COURSE. HOW ELSE WILL I LEARN?" --A.K. Dewdney, THE PLANIVERSE This I am using to illustrate the apparent importance of putting your belief in something. If you keep yourself unsure of truth, you will become confused. If you set your heart on a certain "absolute truth", no matter how false in one reality, you will have something concrete to set your life up on. No matter if you can truly prove it; just assume it true for all intents and purposes. If it means psychosis, very well. "[Yendred:] DRABK SAYS THAT SOON I WILL TALK WITH YOU NO MORE. HE SAYS THAT WHEN I HAVE REACHED A CERTAIN STAGE I WILL NOT WANT TO TALK WITH YOU. I WILL HAVE SERENITY AND KNOWLEDGE.... ....IT [the knowledge] LIES IN WAIT LIKE A RA NIFID [subterranean predator]. IT SWOOPS DOWN LIKE A BES SALLUR [aerial predator] WHEN I DON'T EXPECT IT. I WILL BE DEVOURED BY THE KNOWLEDGE AND SPAT UP AGAIN ALL CHEWED." --Ibid. I use this quote as a fairly direct statement on the extreme pain and fear of one about to reach Nirvana, or Paradise, or Omniscience, etc. You fear to lose something, and fear to lose even the memory of something. One example of that something is sympathy, and is replaced with empathy, yet seems like apathy. It is like going to traditional heaven, and no longer desiring sin, but, prior to the entrance of paradise, fearing that you will miss earthly life once in heaven. "[Yendred:] YOU CANNOT LEARN FROM ME. NOR I FROM YOU. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE. [Alice:] -WHAT KNOWLEDGE? ... [Yendred:] THE KNOWLEDGE BEYOND THOUGHT OF THE REALITY BEYOND REALITY. [Alice:] -WOULD IT HELP IF WE LEARNED YOUR PHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION? [Yendred:] IT HAS NOT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU CALL PHILOSOPHY OR RELIGION. IF YOU FOLLOW ONLY THOUGHT YOU WILL NEVER DISCOVER THE SURPRISE WHICH LIES BEYOND THOUGHT." --Ibid. This, I hope, illustrates itself in the final message from Yendred. Just remember: none of this tract on philosophy and religion can ever help you in the real world. Fate will provide, God will bless, You will survive no matter what. Fear is an illusion. THERE IS NO ENEMY ANYWHERE. Order is an illusion. NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED. Reality in any form is an illusion. MAYA MAYA MAYA MAYA MAYA. Iae Ioe Ieveh! Pan Pan Piper Man! Gorgo Mormo Look Favorably Upon our Sacrifice! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ None of the above is true. But then again, none of the below is either. So just forget about it, and remember (or don't): "Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Oh, and, please: FOLLOW *YOUR* LEADER. (IERUSALEM NOVUS) (This meal was ground for Abraham and Moses And for you And for the saints and prostitutes was boiled this savory stew For child of Armageddon this great feast was spread to eat And never hungry shall the masses be When fire has touched full heat) that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons, even death may die. --H P LOVECRAFT &/or A.'.A.'.